Child Custody Orders

Like their parents, children are to abide by the court ordered custody. By law, both parents and their children are expected to abide by the designated guidelines of their custody outcome. Consequences for not following the order can be contempt, make-up time, and additional attorney’s fees. If an issue arises, it is up to the parents to come to a mutual decision. If no mutual decision can be made, the parents may need to settle the problem with their lawyer.

What Should You Do

First, you should determine why your child does not want to visit the other parent. Understanding “why” your child does not want to see their mother or father can help you uncover and resolve any problems your child may have with the other parent.

  1. Listen to your Child- Listen to your child and respect their feelings. The simple act of listening can help calm any anxiety your child is feeling about the visit and helps identify other reasons for not wanting the time with the other parent.
  • Feeling Fearful- Pay attention to clues that your child is truly fearful. In this situation, you must take immediate legal action to protect your child.
  • Manipulation by the Child- Sometimes, your child may want to get out of doing chores or other activity. Sometimes the child has other things they would rather do such as visiting a friend in the neighborhood.
  • Unintended Manipulation by the Parent- For instance, telling your child how “sad” you are when they are gone; or telling your child “how terrible” it was that they had to do something they didn’t want to at the other parent’s home, such as chores, can reaffirm your child’s feelings of anxiety about visiting the other parent.
  • Intentional Manipulation by the Parent- Some parents project feelings their feelings of anger and resentment of the other parent onto their children and create an expectation that the children must choose sides and reject the other parent. The suite of behaviors by one parent that turns the children against the other parent is known as parental alienation.

You may need to involve other professionals to help you determine the best course of action if your child still refuses to visit the other parent.


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